I have a new necklace. A sparkly anchor pendant on a silver chain. It is my Theodore and Jeremiah necklace.
An anchor. Someone suggested it symbolised hope and strength, as that is typical symbolism for an anchor. Well it does. But it doesn’t.
One of the songs at Theodore’s funeral contained the words, “my anchor holds within the veil”.
The veil is, for me, a safe, calm place of peace and safety and – yes – hope and strength. It is a place where I cry out in pain and frustration and grief, where my tears are not lost or forgotten but counted and kept.
It is a place that remains stable and secure, even when everything else is uncertain and stressful and, occasionally, grim. It is a place where my worry ebbs out and is replaced by peace.
It is a place I need.
Really, it is a place of trust. Trust that good will come from this bitter grief. Trust that from this sorrow something beautiful will grow and blossom and shine.
And as much as I need this place, I also need the reminder that it is there.
I need the reminder and the reassurance that I am safe and that I am not going to get disoriented and lost while I am on this bewildering journey.
This is what my Theodore and Jeremiah necklace does. Its presence reminds me, encourages me, comforts me and calms me.
My anchor holds within the veil.