It’s easy to get stuck, eyes looking back at an event or circumstance. Like it has a grip on you, a hold over you. Thoughts of “what if” and “if only” and “why” keep your focus glued on the past. It’s easy to look back. It’s important to remember the past, honour it, process it, acknowledge it. It is also important not to get stuck there.
It’s hard to look sideways, to see where you are right now. Well, it’s easy in a way. It’s easy to see the hard bits, the tiring bits, the frustrations and difficulties. It’s harder to see the good things. The sticky hands that want to play with your hair can be annoying, but there is sweetness in it. Looking sideways, I have a husband who works, a toddler who plays and challenges and gives huge cheeky grins, and a baby who cuddles and smiles and puts much energy into growing like a bean. It’s tiring but it’s blessed. I need to remember to look intentionally so I see it.
It’s impossible to look sideways and then forget to also look up. Inevitably recognising what I have here, reminds me of the One who gives it and blesses it. Not only that, but I remember who is “up there” with the One who cares about them – and me – more than I can imagine. So constantly am I reminded of the babies up there, now I have a little boy down here, who occasionally gets called the name of his heaven-dwelling brother.
Backwards, sideways, upwards.
Acknowledging the past, letting myself heal. Appreciating the present, and the presence of my loved ones. Remembering the One who guards my life and the little ones with Him. Then, looking forward, with love, hope and faith, because if I can see God when I look backwards, sideways and upwards, I can trust that He’ll be there in the forward journey too.